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17
No.17
Наше счастье постоянно,
Словно феникс встал из пепла
Like a phoenix from the ashes
gurochan.ga!

Well then, yet another gurochan, yet another introduction...

Hello, everyone, I'm Aoi Hikari from Russia, in my works you will find primarily consensual and casual guro with underage characters. My favorite theme is when sex and death are just innocent children's games, and it doesn't even need to include actual sex or be sexual for the characters.
Most of my works are fanfiction on established characters, mostly Ayanami Rei, Kinomoto Sakura and the Kagamine twins.

You can find my works in both English and Russian on AO3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aoi_Hikari
Recently I've also uploaded my English works to pixiv: https://www.pixiv.net/en/users/12229410
¨ No.18
1612165337102.jpg–(296.44KB, 868x982, Sunny Day by Erys.jpg)
Works featuring AYANAMI REI from EVANGELION
(Illustration for Sunny Day by Erys)

Angelic Love (cuckolding, not really guro, just heavy BDSM in chapter 2, a little bit of scat at the end too)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15601314
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13944861

Just a Whim (hanging)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15587139
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13944704
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15712002

Just Another Day at Tokyo-3 School (slow beheading)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15600606
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13944723

Asuka Saves the Day (a rewrite of the previous story)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15600666
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13944730

Sunny Day (chapter 1: garroting, chapter 2: scat, bestiality, beating)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15601050
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/series/1491823

Asuka and Rei Grocery Shopping (butchering)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15601590
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13944940
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15711834

Prank (falling from height)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15601701
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13945014
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15711969

Prodigy Violinist (translation of a Russian thriller / suspense horror story by Trixer)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15626235
Russian (eva-not-end): https://fiction.eva-not-end.com/viewstory.php?sid=95

Warehouse (various methods of death)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15626487
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/series/1418884
¨ No.19
1612165885261.jpg–(4.47MB, 4730x3200, locker_t.jpg)
Works featuring KINOMOTO SAKURA from CARDCAPTOR SAKURA
(Illustration for Best Surprise by unauthorizedly photoshopping someone else's art
I think the original picture might be from mutsuki/moonknives)

Tomoeda Elementary Cannibal Cafe
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15600894
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13944736

Best Surprise (hanging)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15601212
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13944835
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15711978

Tomoeda Elementary School Massacre
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15626148
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13945022

Sakura, Tomoyo and Sexual Education (vivisection)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/20719973
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13945279
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/24138316

Glory Hole (surprise guro)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/22431223
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13945301
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/24089407
¨ No.20
1612166274934.jpg–(360.93KB, 746x926, looney.jpg)
Works featuring GINNY WEASLEY from the HARRY POTTER franchise:
(Illustration by jimsugomi featuring Luna Lovegood for some reason? Maybe it's for TheVisitorBlack's version of the Hogwarts Meatgirl Catalogue? But it's the only picture that for some reason sits in my Harry Potter stories folder, so it'll have to do)

Harry's Best Birthday (magical cooking, cannibalism)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15601503
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13944925
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/17077175

Hogwarts Meatgirl Catalogue (magical cooking, cannibalism)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15626313
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13945059
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/17103983

Note: a version by TheVisitorBlack where Hermione finds the catalogue can be found here https://aryion.com/g4/view/554364
¨ No.21
1612166585370.png–(3.38MB, 1440x2560, Die Young.png)
Works featuring KAGAMINE RIN, KAGAMINE LEN and occasionally other VOCALOIDS
(Illustration for Die Young by me)

Innocence (no guro, just a lot of casual nudity, sex and urination)
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15711459

Autofellatio (beheading)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15711636
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13945142
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15711690

Autoerotic asphyxiation
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15711654
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13945160
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15711714

Die Young (hanging)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/18797077
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13945208
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/18811174

Suspicious Silence (various methods of death)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/18845218
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13945245
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/18845257

Ikiro: Gamers Die Twice (beheading)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/19040107
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13945259
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/19040137

Black Ice (drowning)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/26660419
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13945322
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/26930770

Sing&Smile&Die (song parody of Sing&Smile)
Romaji lyrics (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/27145030
Japanese with Romaji and English hardsub and Russian softsub (youtube): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4Tdfb6dLYk
Japanese with Romaji and English hardsub (iwara): https://www.iwara.tv/videos/42qbqtpjwysyplooa

Dream Gift (joint work with Onix, a Christmas 3D-comic with surprise guro)
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/86146243
Russian (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/86659880
¨ No.22
1612167928111.png–(384.29KB, 2400x1671, Dolphins ENG.png)
Works featuring ALISA SELEZNYOVA (also spelt Selezneva) from books by Kir Bulychov (also spelt Bulychev)
(Illustration by Evgeny Migunov for the original books, caption by me as a prequel to Alisa and the Dolphins by TheVisitorBlack)

Alisa and Pirates (no guro, casual sex)
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15711804

Beach Season (no guro, casual nudity)
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15711891

Alisa Seleznyova's Dress (no guro, casual nudity and sex)
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15711927

Psychological Test (vore)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/28787568
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=14476846
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/28786458

See also:
Alisa and the Dolphins (vore) by TheVisitorBlack: https://www.asstr.org/files/Authors/TheVisitorBlack/Fanfiction/Alisa%20and%20The%20Dolphins.txt
Alisa and Bronty (vore) by TheVisitorBlack: https://aryion.com/g4/view/347292
¨ No.23
1612168029528.jpg–(136.10KB, 806x680, Yomi's cooking project.jpg)
Other FANFICTION works:
(Illustration for Yomi's Cooking Project by jimsugomi)

Act of True Love (Snow Queen, stabbing, freezing)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15601668
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13945000
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15712047

Eaten (Frozen, freezing, cannibalism)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15600957
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13944777

Yakusoku no Élégie (Hibike Euphonium, falling from height)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15626433
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13945073
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/29127057

Yomi's Cooking Project (Azumanga Daioh, cooking)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15601470
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13944913

Slavya and Horse (Herbalist x Everlasting Summer crossover, no guro, bestiality, casual nudity and sex, cuckolding)
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15712422

Guro in the Mines (translation of a Russian Everlasting Summer fanfiction by Namide)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15600813
Russian (ES wiki): https://everlasting-summer.fandom.com/ru/wiki/Фаники:Гуро_в_шахте
¨ No.24
1612168512861.jpg–(549.87KB, 1086x2356, Karina v2.jpg)
Other ORIGINAL works:
(Illustration by photoshopping a bunch of other people's art together and it's actually for another character, but you can also think of it as Kazimira from the opening scene)

Slap Her (beating)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15601443
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13944905

100% discount (guillotine)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/15626172
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13945035

Suitor Test (fairy tale, scat)
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/18846187

Brotherly Love (fairy tale, bestiality)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/29127507
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=14580186
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/18846199

Xenia (no guro, casual sex, no actual intercourse though)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/29127810
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=14580223
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/19343212

Kazimira (no guro, girl meets pedophile)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/29127945
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=14580254
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/17168600

The Delicious Cake (hanging)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/19934500
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=13945270
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/24090661

Marina (heart guro)
English (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/28404522
English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/novel/show.php?id=14355947
Russian (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/28426023

Верёвка впивается в шею (New Year song, parody of "Снежинки спускаются с неба")
Russian lyrics (AO3): https://archiveofourown.org/works/28399860
¨ No.25
1612169750199.jpg–(3.58MB, 1500x1500, impossible.jpg)
(Illustration by shamelessly photoshopping someone else's art as usual)

I've posted parts of Black Ice on the previous gurochan in the process of writing it, but by the time I finished it, gurochan was dead, so this will be the first time I'll be posting it whole on gurochan. Hope this way it counts as new.

Black Ice
(Vocaloid, Kagamine Rin, Kagamine Len, casual guro, suicide, drowning)

Asami didn’t want her children to turn into shut-ins. So when today again after coming home from school the twins went straight to their room seemingly intending to just stay there for the rest of the day, the woman decided it was time to do something about it.

“Just put it over there”, Len gestured towards the table without looking at his mother as she entered the room, as he assumed she had simply brought lunch. The boy was sitting on the edge of the bed with a gamepad in his hands, his eyes focused on the screen where some video game action was happening. He must have hurried to play this game so much he didn’t even undress properly after coming from school, still wearing his white shirt and yellow necktie. Rin was in a similar state of half-undress, only in her case it was her skirt that remained on her body. She was lying on the bed with a pillow under her chest, reading a book while absentmindedly fiddling Len’s dick with her feet.

“Hey, kids”, Asami said. “When was the last time you were outside?”

Len finally faced his mother to give her a confused look and discovered that not only she didn’t bring lunch, but she was also dressed in a nice dress as if planning to go outside.

“Like an hour ago?”

“Right, when we came from school”, Rin elaborated.

“Going to school and back doesn’t count”, Asami objected. “All you do lately is just sit in your room all day long. You need to breathe some fresh air from time to time”.

“But the weather is so dull”, Len gestured at the window.

“There isn’t any snow or wind”, Rin added.

So that was what it was all about, Asami realized. While it was not uncommon for children to enjoy playing in the rain or snow, these two took their love for harsh weather far beyond that, as for them it wasn’t about them playing, it was about them being played or better even toyed with by nature. After all, being the toys they got not to merely have the fun, but to actually be that fun themselves. And so whenever the boring adults would shield themselves with umbrellas and raincoats, the cheerful twins would rather strip naked so that nothing would stand in the way of enjoying the rage of the elements with every bit of their bodies.

And whenever falling trees and flying debris compelled any sensible person to seek shelter, the excited twins would rush outside and throw themselves at the storm’s mercy with such eagerness which Asami wished they would display when throwing themselves into her own embrace. But their favorite were heavy snowstorms, as aimlessly running in the nude among all the twirling snow that made the air so opaque they couldn’t see the way, only relying for directions on the strong wind that pushed them around so hard it almost lifted them from the ground, made the twins feel like they themselves became nothing more than another pair of snowflakes, so tiny and unsubstantial almost as if they didn’t exist at all anymore, instead blending with the rest of the snow and disappearing into it.

The only time when the twins were even more delighted about the weather was during an especially massive hailstorm. It had happened during schoolday and while all the children had gotten excited about it, the teacher had insisted they should finish the lesson first, so most had reluctantly obliged. Not Rin and Len though, who weren’t willing to take any chance of missing such a phenomenon, so not only had they not waited for the end of the lesson, but not even wasted time taking the stairs down, instead just jumping out right through the third floor window. At least with all the other windows broken by the hail on that day anyway the school hadn’t made Asami pay for the broken glass.

Rin had landed on her right side, breaking a couple ribs and her hip, and Len had landed on his feet, breaking his left ankle and dislocating the right one, but also fracturing his right leg, so not being able to support himself on his feet he’d immediately fallen on his stomach. Both twins landing flat on the ground like that had painfully pushed the shards of broken glass even deeper into their bodies, making them realize that same glass has also torn their clothes apart, as in the hurry they hadn’t even taken the time to undress before jumping. But neither the sadly ruined clothes they knew they would be scolded for nor the amusing injuries which at any other times would be so fun to play with had concerned the twins at that moment when there was such a fierce hailstorm raging.

After quickly stripping out of the torn and bloodstained clothes the twins had crawled a bit away from the school building to a more open area and spread their arms and legs widely in a hope to maximize the area of their bodies to be hit by the hail. They’d also turned onto their backs to face the sky so they could see and welcome the hailstones mercilessly bombarding them, but from time to time would turn back onto their stomachs so that their backs got some attention too.

The twins had been enjoying the steady barrage of golf ball-sized hailstones, the bruises coloring their skin with spots of various shades of purple until there became so many they all merged together, turning each of the twins into just one big colorful bruise. But when the lesson was finally over the rest of the children had rushed outside to play in the hailstorm, merrily running around picking up hailstones and throwing them at each other. In the meanwhile, as the twins’ injuries hadn’t let them join the running, they’d just kept lying on the ground, now continuously pummeled not only by the hail, but also by other children running right on top of them, not noticing the twins half-buried under all the hail covering the ground, or maybe noticing, but having too much fun to bother to step around them, resulting in their bodies getting additionally decorated by a layer of shoeprints on top of even more bruises.

But as amusing as being beaten to a pulp by both nature and the crowd was, the real icing on the cake had been the occasional especially large hailstones, like a size of a grapefruit, which were not only heavier, but also reached a much larger velocity in their fall. According to the twins, getting hit by one of those among all the golf-ball sized ones had been like getting a ruthless punch from a boxer among a nice relaxing massage. One such punch had bestowed upon Len a few broken ribs of his own, and another even revealed Rin’s early pregnancy by hitting her right in the womb and aborting it.

At first Asami hadn’t understood the reason behind the overwhelming delight with which the twins told her how they discovered the bloody lump pouring out of Rin’s vagina to actually be a fetus, of which Len, of course, had assumed he was the father. Were they happy to have a child? But it wouldn’t make sense if the child was already dead. Were they happy to get rid of it? But it wouldn’t make sense either because they hadn’t known they had it. But the twins had then explained that they’d just found it irresistibly amusing that it had been the child’s death that proved it had ever been alive in the first place. Confirming one’s existence by not existing had been, to the twins, the greatest imaginable paradox, which is in turn the greatest form of humor.
¨ No.26
It was at that moment that Asami had realized she has become one of those adults she herself had used to find unbearably boring. The reason she failed to find the fun in the unexpected abortion was because she wouldn’t even seek for it, while for a child it was just natural to derive fun from literally everything. Especially so for this particular pair of overly playful twins, it seemed that as far as they were concerned the whole world was but the ultimate playground, where everything was a toy to play with, even the twins themselves, their own bodies, their life and death, their very existence, all was meant for the only purpose of fun.

With such an attitude it wouldn’t surprise Asami if her children arranged a slow and painful death for themselves for no other reason but to laugh at their own unbearable agony. Asami could totally imagine her children killing themselves just for fun one day, in fact the only reason they had not done so yet was exactly because life or death didn’t matter for them and only fun did, and so they didn’t seek for ways to die to then choose which would be the most fun, instead they simply sought for ways to have fun and so far just didn’t happen to also die along the way.

So now looking at the screen Asami could see that even the game Len was now playing involved flying in a wingsuit through a tornado that lifted up all sorts of junk from the ground. And while Asami couldn’t see what book Rin was reading, it too without a doubt was far more engaging than a simple walk in such a calm weather as established lately. No wonder the twins preferred to stay in their room these days.

“Okay, then how about we go to the lake?” Asami concluded. “You swim under the ice anyway, so the weather shouldn’t matter.”

“But the book’s just getting interesting,” Rin replied.

“Your book isn’t going anywhere, you can always finish it later,” Asami noted, and before Len could chime in added: “Same goes for the game. Save it, get dressed properly and let’s go.”

“Fine, fine,” Len gave up, “can I at least cum first?”

“That you can,” Asami agreed. “I’ll wait downstairs then.”

As Asami left the room, Rin turned around, positioning herself in a way that let her take Len’s dick in her mouth while still reading her book.

“Ah,” she sighed between licks, “I haven’t closed the book yet, and I already can’t wait to get back to it.”

“Same here,” Len admitted, reluctantly shutting down his game, but then seeing how it was saving his progress suddenly gave him an idea: “Hey, you know what? We should drown ourselves in that lake!”

“We should,” Rin casually agreed, using her hands on Len’s dick while her mouth was busy talking. “Snowstorm or not, the resuscitation game never gets old”.

“No, I don’t mean taking turns drowning and resuscitating each other like usual,” Len specified, putting his gamepad aside and focusing on the sensation of Rin pleasuring his dick. “I mean drown for good, like, have both of us take a full breath of water together and have no one to save us, making sure we actually die”.

“Ah, a plain old suicide”, Rin concluded tonelessly, as she idly turned a page of her book. “Sure can do, but what would be the fun point?” she wondered. “It sounds so simple and easy that… why even bother?”

“It’s not about being hard to do”, Len answered. “Quite the contrary, in fact, the whole point is how simple and easy it is”.

“And that is supposed to be entertaining because?..” Rin got a bit more curious but still hadn't caught Len’s meaning.

“Well, think of what mom has said”, he pointed out.

“What exactly?” Rin gave it a thought. “Oh, wait, you mean the part where we need to breathe fresh air from time to time?” she guessed. “But instead we can breathe water just one time and then we’ll never need to breathe any air again,” Rin continued with growing excitement, which manifested in her hands fastening their work on Len’s dick. “Yeah, that’s pretty clever!” she approved.

“Too clever for me… ah... to come up with it,” Len admitted while pushing Rin’s head deeper onto his dick, as he felt he was ready to cum.

“Mhm?” Rin raised her eyebrow in an obvious question as the dick deep in her mouth prevented her from speaking.

“I meant the part where… ah... our book and game won’t go anywhere...” Len explained through hard breathing as he finally reached his orgasm. “And that we can always… ah… finish them later…”

“Ha-ha, cough, cough...” Rin’s laughter choked at the stream of semen hitting her throat. “So the book and game may not go anywhere”, she said in fascination after swallowing the cum, “but we totally can!”

“Exactly”, Len confirmed, gently pushing Rin aside to get up from the bed. “I thought how we won’t get to ‘always finish them later’ if we finish ourselves first… but that’s not as good as your idea with the air, is it? Too obvious to be a clever joke.”

“You’re right, it’s not as good”, Rin agreed. “It’s so much better!”

“It is?” Len asked in surprise as he was getting dressed.

“Of course,” Rin confirmed. “I don’t know about you, but I can’t care less if I need to breathe air or not. That’s something my lungs do on a reflex anyway. So that might have been a clever response to mom’s grumbling, but not much fun for our own selves. This book on the other hand is really engaging and there’s nothing I’d love more than to know what happens next. And you feel the same about your game, right? So the idea of killing ourselves for the sole purpose of never being able to finish those… ha-ha-ha,” Rin couldn't help but just burst into laughter half-sentence. “Ah, this must really be the silliest reason to kill oneself for”, she had to wipe her eyes from tears of heavy laughter.

“Told you yours was more clever,” Len pouted, throwing Rin’s clothes at her so she could get dressed too.

“Who cares if it’s clever?” Rin replied, catching the clothes. “Clever is boring, silly is where the fun is!”

“Then should I go with ‘So how can we finish our book and game now, huh?’ in the suicide note?” Len asked, as he took a pen and a piece of paper. “Or should I add a part about breathing fresh air too?”

“No, don’t,” Rin shook her head both to complement her answer and to push it through the top she was putting on. “And I mean don’t write anything at all.”

“But then how can we make sure if mom gets the joke behind our death?”

“Well, see, we don’t,” Rin giggled, lively leaping up from the bed after getting dressed. “That would only be fitting, wouldn’t it?”

“Fitting?” Len looked confused for a moment.

“With the whole joke”, Rin explained, “since it's all about us not getting to finish things, let's leave ourselves no way of knowing how the very joke itself ends either.”

“Wow!” Len uttered, admiring the arising paradox of how the enjoyment of the joke was born from not getting to enjoy it. “Are you sure it’s still utter silliness and not greatest genius?” he asked.

“Maybe the two are one and the same,” Rin concluded. “Just like us, twins, right?”

“Use it as a bookmark then”, Len suggested, giving her the paper he left blank. “Books don’t save themselves like games do”.

“Great thinking!” Rin commended, as she carefully folded the paper to mark exactly the line she had stopped at. “After all, I do want to return to my book as soon as I have a chance… just won’t be alive to actually have it, tee-hee-hee!”
¨ No.27
When the twins dressed up and came down to their mother, she couldn’t help but notice their beaming smiles.

“See”, she said. “We haven’t left the house yet and you’re already gleaming with anticipation. And you didn’t want to go!”

Instead of a response the twins only giggled, exchanging sly glances with each other.

“Thought up some new amusement again”, Asami guessed. “What is it this time? Will you, Rin, stuff your pussy full of icicles? Or will you, Len, get your dick stuck to metal?”

The children lost their breath from the overwhelming realization, as they exchanged glances once more to confirm they were both thinking the same thing. While the goal of their upcoming suicide was only to become unable to finish one particular book and one particular game, those would hardly be the only things they would never get a chance to experience. In fact, it would be the rest of their whole lives with all and every bit of fun they would have ever had that would now never happen. Even mom’s suggestions right now sounded quite tempting so that the twins immediately felt the urge to try them out, and if she, an adult, managed to come up with something so fun off of the top of her head, then how many more varying and irresistible amusements could they invent on their own throughout their life. Without a doubt they were awaited by countless new ways of having fun, a lot that they always wanted to experience, but just didn’t get around to so far, and by orders of magnitude more which they never even knew existed.

And now they never would! Not because of some insuperable external circumstances, but only because they themselves were going to make it that way. There was nothing forcing Rin and Len to go through with their suicide, at any point they could easily abandon that idea and just go on with their lives that they had no doubt would be full of fun and joy. Both knew for certain that if they were to do so they would never regret not killing themselves today, rather they were positively confident that were they to stop right now they would be sincerely happy about making such a decision and endlessly grateful to their today’s selves for each moment of being alive. And with all of that in mind, just how fun it would be to actually drown themselves to death for the sole purpose of making sure none of that would ever happen!

The twins could only contain their laughter at that thought because they’ve just realized they haven’t made a single breath after mom’s question and desperately needed to remember how to breathe before they could produce any response.

“Wow, what wonderful ideas!” Rin finally said with all honesty.

“Can’t wait to try them out”, Len agreed from the bottom of his heart.

“Only maybe, like, next time?” Rin suggested with a wink at her brother.

“Right, next time”, he smirked back. “For today we have something even better in mind”.

“But we won’t tell because it’s a secret”, Rin added.

“You’ll see for yourself”, Len promised.

“Or maybe you won’t”, Rin smiled slyly.

And then the twins looked deep into each other’s eyes and synchronously thought, almost jumping with delight: “But we will certainly not get to see anything anymore!”

All the way to the lake the twins couldn’t contain their glee, one second shooting ahead, the next running in circles around their mother, but never settling for just walking at a leisurely pace, almost as if the weather wasn’t dead calm, but their favourite snowstorm instead. Trying to at least somewhat reign the kids in, Asami decided to occupy them with a conversation.

“So how’s it going in school?” she asked.

“Miku pulled such a stunt today again”, Rin replied, “this time on the PE lesson”.

“Yeah, we were practicing batting”, Len started the story. “But Miku found a better use for the bat”.

“She set it vertically on the floor right under her pussy”, Rin continued.

“And then lowered herself onto it until she did a full cross split”, Len concluded.

“She even walked with that thing inside of her for the rest of the day”, Rin added.

“I wonder just how capacious the insides of her pussy are?” Len said.

“And what will she come up with next time?” Rin gave another wink to her brother.

“Indeed”, Len winked back. “It’s impossible to predict what can enter her mind”.

“We will have to see it for ourselves”, Rin said.

“I’m totally looking forward to it”, Len agreed.

“The key is to not to skip school”, Rin pointed out, unable to contain a smile.

“Indeed, all the best stuff always happens when we’re not around”, Len confirmed.

And then the twins burst into merry laughter.

“But what about the studies?” Asami asked. “Do you at least properly do your homework?”

“Of course we do”, Rin assured.

“Haven’t done yet today though”, Len admitted.

“But it’s not going anywhere”, Rin chuckled.

“Right”, Len agreed. “We can always do it after the walk”.

“And breathing some fresh air would make our brains function better too”, Rin said.

“Oh, that’s a clever thought!” Len noted. “The air must already be helping”.

Of course the twins said that while anticipating how they were going to breathe some fresh water soon in order to make their brains stop functioning forever. Even these very thoughts that brought them so much fun right now would not remain, and thus neither would the fun. But that was exactly why it was so fun!
¨ No.28
“Study well and then I might buy you a VR set”, Asami promised.

“Really?” Len’s eyes lit up. “I will finally get to experience the fabled full immersion?”

“Hey, a VR is for Len, but what for me?” Rin asked.

“And what would you like?” Asami asked.

Rin lost her breath for a moment. Was this for real?

“A violin!” Rin almost whispered. “I always wanted to learn to play violin!”

“A violin it is then”, Asami agreed. “Just study well”.

Unable to contain her emotions Rin threw herself at her brother and took his hands into hers, after which the twins broke into a childish dance around each other, casting away their shoes in the process so that they could better enjoy the feeling of cold snow under their bare feet. There was no need for words as they could clearly see the delight in each other’s shining eyes. For Len becoming so absorbed by a virtual world he could forget about the real one existing, and for Rin learning to make the violin produce it’s elegant and graceful music she loved so much by her own self, these were the twins’ most cherished dreams. Dreams that always seemed to be something distant and uncertain… suddenly became more close and real than the twins ever imagined!

After all, the twins never had problems with studying, so the condition mom made was merely a formality, and getting their VR set and violin was pretty much a done deal. In fact, it wouldn’t be surprising if mom had actually already bought the VR set for Len and hid it somewhere, waiting for a suitable occasion to gift it. And the violin? It’s not like it was the first time Rin mentioned her dream of mastering that instrument, so mom might have just pretended to ask her what she wanted, already knowing exactly what the answer would be. Indeed, mom agreed so easily and quickly as if she didn’t even need any time to process Rin’s words. So for all she knew, the fulfillment of her dream was already waiting right at home next to Len’s. And what a perfect timing to learn about it, just before they were going to kill themselves!

Mere moments ago these longed for items weren’t on the twins’ minds at all, as they were too preoccupied thinking of all the more immediate and tangible fun their suicide would prevent them from experiencing. But in just a few spoken lines the abstract dreams have turned into certain reality, overwhelming the twins with anticipation for all the joy and happiness that was practically within arm’s reach. In Len’s eyes Rin could see the thrill of putting on the VR set and by doing so travelling into a strange virtual world which would be not just before him but all around him, waiting to be explored and conquered. In Rin’s eyes Len could see the elation of taking the violin in her hands and drawing the bow across the strings to produce music of such heavenly beauty that she wouldn’t even be producing it anymore, but get captured by it and become a medium for the music to flow through from the world of ideas into the material one. Overcome with genuine excitement for the upcoming gifts the twins hugged each other warmly, and softly whispered into each other’s ears in unison:

“You won’t get to see a single glimpse”. “You won’t get to play a single note”.

There was no mockery in their confluent voices, not even friendly teasing, but only genuine heartfelt love, happiness for each other and for each other’s happiness for each other, joy of bringing each other joy with these so simple yet so beautiful words that might have not told them anything each of the twins hadn’t already figured out by themselves but were still so sweet to hear vocalized, making everything feel so much more real. Saying it aloud made the meaning of dying just before their dreams would have become fulfilled truly sink in and through their tight embrace the twins could feel each other’s hearts synchronously skip a beat before bursting in such irrepressible laughter that they fell down and their dance turned into rolling around in the snow.

“Wow, I didn’t expect these gifts would make you this much excited”, their mother said, “you know, if you really can’t wait to have them, we can always go to the lake some other day…”

The twins stopped their chaotic motion in an instant and looked into each other’s eyes once more. They were right, the gifts really were already waiting for them at home. They just had to turn back and mom would give them their VR set and violin right away. There was literally nothing standing in the way of the greatest joy they could possibly imagine — the fulfillment of their most longed for and cherished dreams. No hiding those already bought presents anymore, no waiting under pretence they had to earn them with good grades. The twins were free to just come and take what was practically already theirs. Just how silly it would be to miss this chance… right?

“Lake! Lake! We’re going to the lake!” the twins replied in discord, as if trying to shout not just ahead of each other, but ahead of their own selves, of their earnest desire to immediately rush back home and seize their presents which they were afraid could escape their lips.

“Oh… okay”, Asami uttered in confusion. “I guess the presents will have to wait a little longer.”

Yes, the twins thought, wait just a little longer. Wait until they dive into the lake, wait until they fill their lungs with water, wait until their hearts come to a full stop and their brains cease all function. Wait until both of the twins are completely and irreversibly dead. And then!.. And then they can be given all the presents, all the pleasures, all the joys and delights in the world and then some... Only wait just a little longer until they make sure they would not be around to enjoy any of those!
¨ No.29
As the lake got within sight, the twins fully succumbed to their delight and rushed towards it ahead of their mother, casting off their clothes on the way. But upon reaching the shore they have suddenly stopped. Instead of the usual vast white surface the unclad twins were met by an equally vast, but black one. It took the twins a couple of seconds to realize that the surface itself was actually transparent, and the blackness came from water underneath.

“What a transparent ice!”

“I never thought it could be like that”, Len agreed.

“Can you imagine how many more amazing things we have never seen?” Rin smiled with delight.

“And never will!” Len supported her mood.

“All just for one silly little joke.”

“One that we won’t even get to see through.”

“And that itself makes it an even better joke”, Rin continued.

“Because this one is on ourselves.”

“And that’s the best kind of joke”, Rin finished.

“Enjoying the view?” asked Asami who has finally caught up to her kids.

The twins looked back at their mother worriedly, wondering if she overheard them, but it seemed like she hadn’t. In her hands she held the children’s clothes that she picked up on the way, and the twins couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought that it was in vain, as they would never need any of those again. No, forget the clothes — looking back at their mother like this, on the very shore of the lake from which they did not intend to return, made the twins realize it was the last time they were seeing her. That sudden thought struck them like lightning, sending chills down their spines like no cold ever could. Overcome with delight the twins enthusiastically leaped upon their mother in one swift motion, almost knocking her off her feet as they lovingly clung to her with their naked bodies in tight embrace and, cutely raising themselves on tiptoes, synchronously kissed her gently on both cheeks.

“Whoa, what’s gotten into you?” Asami laughed somewhat taken aback, but enjoying the attention. Hugging her children back she looked down onto their happy identical faces and saw their eyes shining with most genuine love and gratitude.

“Who knew your love could be bought with a couple of presents”, Asami chuckled jokingly, as she patted the children’s heads.

But the VR set and violin weren’t on the twins’ minds right now, instead they were thinking of a much greater present, the greatest of them all — the gift of life. They were infinitely grateful to their mother for giving them birth and by that granting a chance to experience all of the joys and pleasures the world was filled with, a chance that was so fun to use to make sure they would never experience anything ever again. For as much as the whole point of killing themselves was not to exist, it was only possible because they existed in the first place, which was an amusing paradox all in itself. But while giving them birth was a necessary requirement for the twins to be able to commit suicide, to think of it, it was also mom that gave them the idea to actually do so by dropping those words about finishing their book and game, without which it might have just never occured to them how fun intentionally denying themselves such an option would be. So all of the delight that the anticipation of their upcoming death was filling them with was fully thanks to their mother.

“Thank you for bringing us to this lake”, Rin said with all sincerity.

“That was such an excellent idea”, Len added from his heart.

“You’re my beloved binary sunshines”, mom melted under her children’s affection and gave each a peck on their forehead. “As long as you’re having fun.”

“Oh, it’s going to be fun alright”, the twins thought, “but we won’t be having any of it!”

“Say, if a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it...” Rin started, as she sofly stepped back from the embrace.

“Right!” Len saw where Rin was going as he followed suit. “Does it still make a sound?”

“Huh?” Asami had no idea where that came from, but then again the twins always came up with crazy ideas out of nowhere. “Well, of course it would”, she answered. “Sound is an intrinsic property of the falling tree, not of someone hearing it”.

The twins smiled as they shared another sly glance, as for them it meant that their death was going to be fun even if they wouldn't be around to experience that fun for themselves… In fact, even if their mom or nobody in the entire world would ever get the joke, that won’t change the intrinsic property of that joke to be fun.

“Well, isn’t that just great?” Rin concluded.

“Objective reality rules!” Len agreed.

“You two are as unfathomable as ever”, Asami sighed. “Okay, falling trees aside, while you play at the lake I’ll go buy something to eat for tonight. Is there something in particular you would like?”

The twins laughed. What a great question it was! Making them look forward to the dinner they wouldn’t get to attend, imagining all the delicious dishes they wouldn’t get to enjoy, and even choosing them by themselves. Oh, what a wonderful feeling it was to decide what they wanted to taste while knowing that they won’t live to sink their teeth into any of that! A lot of appetizing options were flooding the twins’ minds, each more tempting than the other, but in the end, unable to single out just one, the twins had come to an even better solution.

“Surprise us!” Rin said. “Make it something unlike anything we’ve tried before”.

“And better than anything we’ve tried before”, Len added. “The best meal ever!”

“Wow, now that’s a task you’re giving me!” Asami laughed. “I’ll have to try my best then”.

It was a crazy task indeed, but the twins knew their mom was up for it because she would put all of her love into it. Using her knowledge of the twins’ taste, mom would surely be able to come up with something that would never have occured to the twins themselves, but that they would absolutely love once they try it. Without a shadow of a doubt for tonight’s dinner the twins would be awaited by a treat beyond their imagination that would taste so incredible they would be willing to give their lives for a single bite. And then how fun would it be to instead give their lives in order to not get any? Ah, the twins’ mouths were already watering in anticipation!

“Well then, I’ll be going”, Asami concluded. “Don’t go far from the lake so I can find you later”, she instructed them before walking away.

“Sure thing!” the twins promised.

“Indeed, we won’t be going anywhere”, Len laughed once mom was far enough. “And we’ll be gone forever!”

“Under such transparent ice mom will find us right away”, Rin joined the laugh. “And there will be no us anywhere to be found!”

“Can’t wait to see mom’s reaction when she returns and sees us dead”, Len anticipated. “Even better that being dead won’t let us see it, ha-ha-ha!”

“But you know what’s even more better?” Rin added. “The very reason why mom’s reaction would be so fun to see in the first place is because we’ll be dead!”

“So in order to see it we’ll have to make sure we can’t?” Len realized. “Damn, that’s deep!”

“Speaking of deep…” Rin took Len’s hand in hers and gestured at the lake with her other hand. “Let’s go drown ourselves!”

“Yay!” Len rejoiced, raising their joined hands and the two dashed forward.
¨ No.30
And like that hand in hand the children merrily ran further on top of the lake in search of a suitable icehole to dive into and never come back up. Even though the weather was far from a harsh snowstorm like they prefered, the cold air was still giving them pleasant goosebumps all over their naked bodies and the ice under their feet was gently nibbling at their soles. But the warmer weather also meant that the ice was more slippery than the twins were used to, so maybe because of that, or maybe because they were too absorbed with delightful anticipation of their upcoming death, they slipped. Or rather Rin slipped first, but as she was holding Len’s hand she instinctively pulled it, trying to steady herself, but since he was on the same ice he just slipped too and because of Rin’s pull ended up landing on his back before her, cushioning her own fall. The impulse of Rin landing on top of him even made Len slide along the ice for a short distance, further intensifying its cold bite all over his bare skin, nicely contrasted by Rin’s warmth pressing into him from above.

“Whoa”, Len laughed, “you sure mastered the art of falling”.

“Yeah”, Rin joined the laugh, raising her head a bit so she could look into Len’s eyes, “you make a great safety bag”.

“Oh!” Len’s eyes lit up. “That gives me so many ideas! Mainly of the ‘being crushed’ sort”.

“Sounds great!” Rin supported his enthusiasm. “Even more fun things we’ll never get to try out”.

“Indeed,” Len agreed. “Like we could…”

“Wait”, Rin put a finger to his lips. “Don’t tell me”.

“Why?” Len asked puzzled, but the next moment realized: “Ah, it’s so that you would never even know what awesome things you’re going to miss!”.

“Exactly”, Rin confirmed. “Learning about them would be fun in itself, wouldn’t it?”

“Rin, you’re a genius!” Len said in sincere admiration.

“Oh, want something even more genius?” Rin asked, rolling off from Len to his side, so that now they were laying in parallel without touching each other.

“What do you have in mind?” Len asked with enthusiastic interest.

“So you want to finish that game you were playing, right?” Rin apparently started from afar.

“You even ask!” Len answered. “It’s just incredible! And just to think how much more fun it would be in VR! Not to even mention all the games made specifically for VR from the start which I can’t even imagine what they’re like before I have the set. That’s something I just have to see with my own eyes!”

“And it’s the same for me”, Rin agreed, smiling at seeing the earnest passion in his eyes. “The book I was reading is so interesting, the plot is so intriguing, I absolutely have to see where it goes. And the violin, ah, the violin, its sounds are truly magical, so in a sense learning to play it is like becoming a magical girl”, Rin said with a dreamy voice. “How much I would love that is just beyond words!”

“So what are you trying to say?” Len asked in confusion. “Because you almost sound like you don’t want us to kill ourselves after all”.

“What?” Rin was taken aback by such a proposition. “No, that’s exactly why we should do it!” she adamantly insisted. “I was just leading to the point that focusing our thoughts on all the fun we wouldn’t get, we have missed something much more important… the most important”.

“What can possibly be more important than fun?” Len chuckled skeptically.

“That we have each other”, Rin explained, looking straight into Len’s eyes. “And now we won’t”, she spoke in a deliberately soft and calm voice.

They will not… have each other… Such a revelation totally blew Len’s mind and he had to take a second to gather it back together and properly process the idea. They were a pair of twins, how was it possible for them not to have each other? That was such an absurd concept, contradicting their whole nature as twins. Just to think that they were killing not just themselves, but their very togetherness, which always felt more fundamental than anything in the world… that was so unthinkable, so surreal, so delightful!

“See, I’ll never have you anymore”, Rin whispered almost as if afraid that speaking loudly would wake her into a reality where this wasn’t happening.

“And I’ll never have you”, Len understood, speaking in an equally low voice as realization of all the implications took his breath away.

“We’ll never be together again”, Rin uttered a bit louder, as her excitement grew stronger.

“We’ll never be at all”, Len continued, as if the twins were caught by a whirlpool of reinforcing each other’s delight.

“We’ll never share another kiss,” Rin said breathily, as her eyes were expressing the most desperate desire to press her lips against her brother’s that she ever felt, yet despite how close they were, she made no attempts to act on it. But she didn’t try to suppress the desire, quite the contrary, she let it spread over every cell of her body and conquer her soul. And the more that desire started to define her, the more fun it was to make sure she would never have it fulfilled.

“Never hug each other,” Lin replied in manner, his return gaze starkly expressing similar lust that swept over him to grab Rin’s body in one last most loving embrace, but exactly because of how unbearable that longing was, he kept lying perfectly still, only smiling widely.

“Or hold hands,” Rin continued, reaching for her brother’s hand.

“What the?!” Len jerked his hand away a moment before Rin would touch it.

“Just kidding”, Rin laughed, her playful eyes telling she knew he would remove his hand.

“Oh”, Len realized, “we’ll also never play another loving prank on each other”.

“We won’t even love each other anymore”, Rin pointed out.

“Because there won’t exist any us to be capable of love”, Len concluded the thought.

“Ah, I never contemplated just how much joy there is in simply being alive,” Rin said dreamily. “Now I want to live more than ever!”

“So just how fun it will be to kill ourselves while having such an earnest desire to live!” Len continued Rin’s obvious thought.

“Not just while”, Rin corrected. “But exactly out of that very desire!”

“It will be the best laugh ever!” Len said.

“Only how would we laugh when we’re dead?” Rin chuckled.

“We won’t”, Len admitted. “We’ll never get to actually have our greatest laugh!”

“And that’s exactly what makes it so great!” Rin concluded.

“Ah, I can’t wait for it anymore”, Len said, finally getting up from the ice. “Let’s go drown ourselves already!”
¨ No.31
“Hold on a second”, Rin almost grabbed his hand out of habit, but stopped herself in time.

“Why?” Len looked back at his sister with a puzzled gaze.

Did she not feel the same as he did? How precious and irreplaceable every moment of life was, how sweet was every breath of fresh air, how welcome every beat of heart, how delightful every thought for being able to think it. How could Rin not hurry to kill herself to make sure there would remain as few of these joyous moments as possible? If only the twins could, they should have just foregone the whole drowning process and just will their hearts to stop and drop dead right away. And, as Len saw, Rin’s eyes were indeed burning with the same flaming passion for life as his own reflected in them, a fire so strong there could be nothing more fun than extinguishing it. Or could there? Because the only thing that could make Rin postpone their suicide was adding even more fun to it. And if that was the case, Len was willing to stop for a moment to hear her out.

“That black ice gave me an idea”, Rin said. “You should dive first and float up flat against the ice with your face up”.

“And then what?” Len asked intrigued.

“Then you’ll see for yourself”, Rin smiled slyly.

“Or maybe I won’t?” Len guessed with a growing grin.

“Or maybe you won’t”, Rin chuckled.

Assured by Rin’s nod that she had nothing more to say, Len looked around for a fitting icehole and upon spotting one dashed towards it and without stopping jumped straight into the cold water, instantly submerging his whole body all the way along with the head. Such a sudden influx of cold sent his organism into a shock, heart rate spiking like crazy and lungs spasming to gasp for air. Given how Len couldn’t wait to drown himself, this time he might as well acted on that reflex, but knowing Rin had something else in mind he resurfaced and took a proper breath.

Len felt incredibly refreshed as the cold made his body shiver like a jolt of electricity, like if he was asleep all the day and only now properly woke up. All of his sensations sharpened and the world became almost unrealistically vivid. Len looked around with his enhanced vision, avidly taking in every bit of the scenery. The ice on the surface of the lake, which looked most unusual today with its mirroresque blackness, but was as always slippery and thin, making it the most fun surface to run on, constantly falling onto or under it. The snow covering the shores, which made both great projectiles for games and a handily available snack to fill the bellies without the need to come home every time their stomachs grumbled. The sky, which was now so deceptively calm, as if it never produced those deadly cyclones that created incomparable playgrounds by devastating entire cities to ruins. The woods in the distance with every living thing a playmate — from hornets, who would with wild fervor bestow their stings onto any dick shoved into their nest, to bears who would just as eagerly amuse any child looking to playwrestle by effortlessly tearing them to shreds with massive claws.

No matter where Len aimed his eyes, everything offered so much fun. However he went for such a thorough final look at the world not for the sake of taking the chance to enjoy the view one last time, but to imprint the carving he felt for that fun as deep as he could onto his mind. For both of the twins fun was the measure of everything in existence and the existence itself, nothing else mattered but fun. And now they were going to ensure they would never experience any more fun. All for the sake of that same fun. A moment of crystal clarity provided by the cold water shock led Len to a sudden realization.

“Rin!” he called for his sister.

“Any last words?” Rin suggested playfully, as if it was all just a game. And it was, just one where dying for real was a part of it, or rather the very point of the game.

“Our lives aren’t toys!” Len announced, his eyes shining with the discovery.

“What?” Rin asked in confusion. It certainly couldn’t be that after everything he was suddenly backing out?

“We are!” Len replied and submerged once more, clearly not intending to resurface ever again.
¨ No.32
Rin didn’t need more explanation though. They were twins after all, so it wasn’t hard for her to understand exactly what Len meant just by those words. It was when they played blind man’s buff on the unguarded roof of a skyscraper or tag at an old uncleared minefield, that they were toying with their lives. But now the twins were far beyond that.

They weren’t just carefreely throwing their lives away, they were deliberately killing themselves, and more than that, they were doing so because of how much they wanted to live. This wasn’t just as plain as toying with their lives anymore, not even toying with their desire to live, as that would imply such a desire to be just a part of themselves, almost a separable one. But it was simply not true. It was them, Rin and Len, who wanted to live, it was them who dreamed of playing a violin and immersing in virtual reality, it was them who looked forward to having all the countless new fun experiences the life had in store for them. It was not some abstract desire that desperately yearned for all of that, but them themselves.

And so they weren’t toying with their desires or their instincts or their subconscious or their anything. They were toying with nothing more and nothing less than themselves. They were both the toys and the ones toying. They got both types of fun simultaneously, and then that fun looped back onto itself in an endless cycle, which was, of course, going to end along with themselves, and in the first place that endless cycle only existed because the twins were going to end themselves and thus the cycle…

Rin couldn’t even laugh anymore. She realized what that clarity in Len’s eyes was. It wasn’t just the shock from the cold water. Rin hasn't submerged yet, but now felt it too. It was without a doubt a state known as enlightenment. Rin never imagined what it can be like, but now that she felt it, she couldn’t confuse it with anything. Something clicked and the puzzle she never knew was disassembled suddenly became put together, and now everything made sense in a way she could have never imagined. Such a plain reaction as laughter couldn’t possibly do this emotion justice. It was nothing like joy or mirth or even delight and at the same time it was all of them together and more. It was the purest form of bliss, so exalted it transcended any notion of physical expression. Rin’s face couldn’t become any happier anyway. But her heart was now singing. A love song to death.

No, not just death, but suicide. Killing oneself of one’s own will, which will one possesses only because they’re alive. Willing oneself to be dead so that one doesn’t have any will. Using one's life for the sake of dying. Devoting one’s existence to not existing. To be to not to be. A=!A. That was, without a shadow of a doubt, the most paradoxical paradox and thus the most fun form of fun possible.

No, it wasn’t even possible, because obviously someone who doesn’t exist can’t be having fun, and this impossibility was exactly what elevated this kind of fun onto an entirely different level from anything that was possible. It was the most pure, most genuine, most innocent kind of fun — a kind of fun that couldn’t be actually had. The ideal fun that existed all by itself, unsullied by being perceived. Oh how desperately Rin longed to get at least a tiny little glimpse of this transcendental fun, and how sincerely she hoped that she would absolutely not. She was praying from the bottom of her heart that there was no afterlife or any kind of immortal soul which would ruin the whole fun by letting her experience it. Ah, but then to whom was she praying? A delightful paradox once more!
¨ No.33
Meanwhile, reveling in similar thoughts, Len followed Rin’s instructions. He swam a bit away from the icehole and then floated up flat against the ice. Just like from above he could see his own reflection on its surface, but since the other side wasn’t dark, he also saw clearly through it at the same time. The two pictures, one of his own exalted face, another of a clear crystal blue sky were superimposed onto each other. So was that what Rin wanted to show him — a montage created by the very nature of him among the heavens, perhaps symbolizing his death or maybe how elated he felt about it? No, in such a case there would be no reason for her not to accompany him. If she needed to stay behind it must mean she wanted to do something funny above the surface for him to see from under the ice.

Or could it be that she only wanted him to think that way, while she would sneak to him from below and suddenly tickle him, making him uncontrollably laugh under water, effectively making him die from laughter? That would certainly be a fun way to die, but then Rin would have to touch him, which was something both of the twins were longing for too much to allow it to happen.

Len also couldn’t rule out the possibility that Rin wouldn't actually do anything about him and just go drown herself somewhere else in the lake, while the whole fun of her suggestion consisted in making him anticipate that fun only for it to never come. In such a case Len would make his best to last as long as possible no matter how much he couldn’t wait for his own death, if only to play along, even more so knowing that if that was indeed her plan she would die without ever knowing if he played along or not. Well, whatever was on Rin’s mind, Len had no doubt it was going to be hilarious regardless of if either of them would get to experience that fun for themselves.

But although Len was prepared to die before seeing his sister’s plan in action, he didn’t have to wait that long. It only took a minute for Rin to recollect herself after being lost in her thoughts over Len’s last words and another one to find him from above the surface. With how much time the twins used to spend in this lake, a couple of minutes without air wasn’t nearly enough to bother Len. Surely his lungs burned longing for a new supply of oxygen, but as far as Len was concerned it was a welcome sensation to spice up the almost sleep-inducing coziness of freezing water sapping the heat out through every inch of his fully submerged skin. This fun of pushing their bodies beyond the limits was why the twins loved playing underwater so much in the first place.

But that was not what they were here for today. This time they weren’t just fooling around by putting themselves through another improved and extended set of unsurvivable conditions to see if they can endure against all common sense. This time they were going to defy common sense in a much more fundamental and thus much more entertaining way — by deliberately and purposefully killing themselves. Not testing the latent potential of the human organism awakening in extreme situations, not proving the power of their love by reviving each other’s breathless bodies, and not ignoring the certain death which just happened to be a part of their play, but going right after that death as a goal all in itself. A suicide in its purest form. Nothing more and nothing less.

Except, of course, for that one last thing Rin came up with. Len looked up at her from under the ice. She was standing right above, giving him a perfect view on her pussy. Len wondered if she was planning to pee on him, making the coveted stream pour right into his face only to spray against the ice a moment before reaching it. It would be really fun to die by choking with Rin’s urine, so Len would desperately try to breathe it in… only for the merciless water of the lake to fill his lungs instead, denying him the very fun of dying in a fun way… which would in turn make it even more fun!

Len was already licking his lips in anticipation of the salty taste he wouldn’t get to feel, but suddenly realized that after his death Rin wouldn’t have a way to mirror it for her own. And as much as the two derived fun from the idea that the unbreakable bond between them would become broken by the lack of themselves to be bonded, that applied only after dying, and as long as they were alive they were still adamantly a pair of twins. So whatever idea was on Rin’s mind, it couldn’t be anything that wouldn’t work for herself the same way. But what could possibly work the same after Len’s death?

Apparently ‘mirror’ was the keyword. Rin laid down onto the ice, aligning her position to perfectly match Len’s, her face right before his, her image merging with his own reflection. “Wow…” he exhaled the last air from his lungs in fascination. The twins were so close, separated by some mere inch of ice so transparent it almost wasn’t there, and the same ice that separated them also brought them more together than ever by making them occupy literally the same space in the reflection, as if they weren’t even two of the same, but one single being to begin with, and yet again that very same ice that brought them so much together also separated them more then ever, making it impossible for them to touch, to hug, to feel each other ever ever again.
¨ No.13500
Of course, to properly mirror it later Rin would have to drag his body out of the water with her hands, however at that point it would only be a lifeless corpse, not Len himself, but just an inanimate object bearing his image, so it wouldn’t necessarily count. Although if she really wanted no compromises Rin could simply go and ask someone else to handle Len’s remains: there weren’t a lot of people at the lake today, but surely among the few who were a willing helper could be found, perhaps in return for good old sex? They could even have their way with Rin after her death, or with Len for that matter.

After all, the twins’ favorite kinds of fun have always been those that made them feel more like toys than like players, to actually be the fun itself rather than merely having it. And dying would let them go even further in that play and really be toys instead of only getting to feel like ones. In fact, they wouldn’t get to feel anything anymore, becoming able solely to be enjoyed and never to enjoy. Just the way they enjoyed it!

But whether or not Rin was going to use outside help to drag his dead body out of water, Len figured that her plan was to place it on top of the ice and then float up right under it like he was doing now. She wouldn’t get exactly the same experience, but while he got to dwell on not getting to witness Rin’s death, she could in turn dwell on not getting to see him enjoying it. So both had equally fun if reversed things to miss out, which was a kind of mirroring by itself.

Among all these thoughts Len didn’t notice how much time had passed, but suddenly he felt like his lungs wouldn’t last much longer. Any second the reflex to take a breath would overpower the reflex not to do it underwater and then the only way for him to survive would be if Rin saved and revived him. But looking at her through the ice Len could see that she realized his situation and was smiling at him in reassurance that this time she was absolutely not going to do it. Len mirrored her smile to express his gratitude. Although he wanted to do so much more in his last moments. Rin too was desperate to hold onto her brother whose existence was so rapidly slipping away. But as the pair of twins pressed their bodies into each other, they only embraced the ice. As they put their palms against each other's, they only met the ice. As they reached for each other’s lips appetizingly blue from the cold, they only kissed the ice.

Ice!

O ice, the solid form of water that floats above it to defy all common sense, how can you be so black and so transparent, so kind to be our playmate, so harsh to take our lives, how can you fuse the two of us by separation and separate by fusing into one? O ice, the barrier connecting, if only you could know how much we wish to feel each other’s warmness, if only you could hear how pray we that we won’t: please let us die while desperately longing and leaving our dreams unmet forevermore. O ice, the greatest of all wonders, so glad we are just that you do exist, and so overdelighted knowing we will not, so grateful you are going to kill us, we’re singing you this heartfelt praising song.
¨ No.13501
Having his thoughts suddenly turn into a poem was the final straw. Len couldn’t take it anymore and just burst into laughter. Water flooded his lungs. Icy water that sent Len into hypothermia just by being all around him, and now it was freezing him from inside too. In a futile attempt to prolong it’s existence Len’s organism was rapidly shutting down except for the most vital parts: the lungs, the heart and the brain. Len’s lungs desperately spasmed to cough the water out only to at the very next moment even more desperately spasm to breathe it back in, too hungry for air to realize there wasn’t any around. Len’s heart frantically pushed the blood towards the lungs in search of oxygen, but it only found coldness to bring back to the heart which couldn’t help but redirect it to the one remaining functioning organ. Len’s brain, starving and freezing, was overtook with such an unrelenting desire to live that it was willing to take any most tiny chance, and so it was sending random impulses in hope of a lucky guess, making the body writhe around in panic.

Of course, given how many times Len had purposefully drowned himself before as a part of their revival play with Rin, he was well capable of calming himself down and just peacefully waiting to pass out. But all these involuntary contractions of the respiratory system to breathe in and out without restraint… weren’t they so much just like laughter? Even the way the agony sent his body into uncontrollable convulsions was not at all dissimilar to irrepressible laughter. And so he kept laughing. He saw Rin laughing too. Or was it his own reflection? His consciousness started slipping away, so it was hard to tell. Though why would he want to anyway? Fusing them into one was the whole point of this position. Rin was his reflection. The two of them were now one. So if that made them as close as possible, would becoming none make them impossibly close? After all, dividing by zero should give infinity. Did it even make any sense? Len didn’t know as he couldn’t think straight anymore. He only felt that his body kept laughing, so there must have been something fun? What was it again?

Ah, of course. Len remembered there was a fun videogame he was anticipating continuing. He vividly pictured how he would play it. How he would soar up in the skies in a wingsuit in the middle of a raging thunderstorm among all the debris, cars and even tanks flying around lifted by a mighty tornado, fighting off all the anti-air missiles, attack helicopters and jet fighters with only as much weapon as he could carry on himself, explosions filling the whole field of view non-stop. But surely the game was saving its best parts for the last. So if it was this great so far, just how much better it was going to become? Len couldn’t wait to see.

But of course better than any game was having a loving mother who would softly enter the room careful not to disturb Len’s immersion in playing and offer some new meal to him and his sister, who would of course be lying beside him absorbed in that book of hers that she so much wanted to finish. Mom promised something special, and he knew she would not disappoint, whatever it would be, the moment he would take a bite he would be immediately blown away with the taste. But what would that taste be? There was no point trying to imagine what it is like for something to be beyond imagination, so Len just had to wait for the dinner to find out.

And that dinner wouldn’t be the only present from mom. There was also the VR set. He imagined he wouldn’t be able to contain his excitement and impatiently seize the device out of mom’s grasp, hurrying to plug it in. Mom wouldn’t mind. She knew this was what he has always dreamed of. Even then, holding it in his own hands, he would find it hard to believe that his dream was coming true, until he gets to actually put it on, and then… he has heard a lot of what would happen then, that he would disappear from the room and find himself inside the game world, truly up in the air in the middle of all the violent elements and explosions, that it would all be the same as on the screen and yet entirely different, still obviously a rendered set of polygons, and at the same time all totally alive and real. But what did those words actually mean, what was the actual experience behind them? Today he would find it out!

However, being a twin, there was still one thing Len anticipated even more. When he would eventually be done playing with the VR set, he would make sure to look at his sister receiving her own present. What expression would she make when facing her dream coming true, how brightly the purest delight would shine in her eyes… seeing that would be priceless, better than any fun Len could possibly have for himself. As her twin brother he would be able to feel Rin’s elation when she takes the violin in her hands for the first time more acutely than any of his own emotions. The first time she would hit the strings with the bow… would create the most awful noise, naturally, but would nevertheless be absolutely magical.

With practice Rin would learn to control that magic and before Len would notice she would be performing on a stage before hundreds of people, and the most beautiful melody he could not dare imagining would be flowing into our world through Rin, carrying her away and making her into a part of the music. It would last forever and still end too soon. The audience would burst into applause and Rin would bow before them, from her heart happy to be able to bring them such joy. But the one listener she cares for the most would be waiting behind the curtain, and finally Rin would head there finding it difficult to hide her impatience and as soon as she is unseen by the audience she would throw herself into Len’s arms. Just how wonderful it would be to give her a tight embrace and soak in her overflowing emotions, physically feeling her excited heartbeat!

Heartbeat…

While Len was relishing all the fun and joy the life ahead had in store for him and his sister, he failed to notice that his own heartbeat had already stopped. The fact that he was dying has completely slipped his dying mind, and so his final thought was the most heartfelt and genuine:

“How great it is that the two of us are alive and will be able to have all those experiences!”

And it was exactly the thought he would have found to be the most fun to die with.
¨ No.13502
1612171991671.jpg–(1.50MB, 1600x1200, 000.jpg)
And with how much Len and Rin anticipated their presents, a VR-set and a violin, have you ever wondered what they would do if they actually receive them? Them somehow surviving up to that point is a crazy thought already, I know, but this is exactly what happens in Dream Gift, a joint work between me and Onix, which is a Christmas 3D-comic. Curious what happens next? Check it out by the links below!

English (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/86146243
Russian (pixiv): https://www.pixiv.net/en/artworks/86659880

Like, subscribe and share your thoughts in the comments.
¨ No.13573
Great to see you back here too! :D
¨ No.13597
Oh, forgot this one, it's short, but new.

Marina

“Fuck!” echoes through the quiet classroom as everyone is focused on the test.
“Hey, no cursing!” the teacher says as he briefly looks up at the class, but after receiving no answer just lowers his gaze back to whatever he was doing at his desk, apparently considering the return of silence as good enough.
“What’s the matter?” I whisper to my deskmate, as it is her who has just cursed. Did she react so strongly to a mistake she made in the test?
“I forgot my vibrator”, Marina answered, as she was browsing through her schoolbag.
Ah, so that’s how it is… Marina is just being her weird self. And what was I expecting from an elementary school girl who comes to school wearing nothing but a pleated micro skirt held by suspenders over her naked upper body assuring the skirt was set high enough to clearly expose her lack of panties, which makes me assume that the purpose of these suspenders going right over Marina’s nipples is not in order to cover them out of decency — a concept seemingly unknown to this girl, — but to rub them every time she moved. Of course, if you count footwear as clothes, then she does also wear some kind of combat boots, but that doesn’t really help. And if you ask her why she wears such a peculiar costume, all she would tell is that the black color of her outfit matches her black hair, which she wears in a mussed up boyish cut. As if all the items being black is the weirdest thing about it.
“Is it really the time to play with toys?” I tell her. “We’re having a test, you know”.
“It’s not a toy”, she explains. “It helps me concentrate”.
“Just don’t expect me to masturbate you again”, I sigh, “then it would be me who wouldn’t be able to concentrate”.
“Maybe I can use this”, she considers aloud, pulling a massive serrated knife out of her schoolbag, which looks so intimidating like you could hunt a bear with it.
“So you forgot your vibrator, but you did bring this?” I marvel. “Wait, how exactly are you going to use it?”
Marina doesn’t reply, but looks satisfied with her find as she puts the bag away. Then she raises up a little bit and places the knife beneath herself, the handle resting on the seat and the blade pointing right at her slit. Her skirt is short enough that I can see everything clearly, as she lowers herself onto the blade while holding the handle. The knife easily cuts its way into Marina’s pussy, trickles of blood flowing down the weapon and onto the girl’s right hand.
“Is this okay?” I ask worriedly, raising my gaze up to see her eyes.
“This new sensation seems promising”, she nods with a straight face.
“That’s not exactly what I meant…” I try to explain, but Marina doesn’t listen.
She lets go of the knife’s handle as it’s now securely stabilized by the blade being inserted all the way in her pussy, and holds onto the edge of her seat instead. Before I can realize what she’s doing, my deskmate pushes herself down without hesitation, forcing the handguard to slip along with the blade. In one swift motion Marina’s butt plops down onto the seat and the knife disappears inside of her completely. Once again I look up at her in shock, as judging by the knife’s size, the blade must definitely reach into her womb, if not even piercing through its deepest wall. And yet she doesn’t even flinch.
“Doesn’t it hurt?” I ask her.
“A lot”, she answers with her typical unimpressed tone. “But it doesn’t help”.
I just stare at her in confusion. The pain was supposed to help?
“It needs to vibrate after all”, Marina concludes as she pulls the knife back out of her pussy as casually as she put it in there, showing no concern to the pool of blood forming under her.
“Shouldn’t you pay a visit to the infirmary?” I suggest.
Marina ignores my words and nonchalantly raises the knife up, putting it against her chest.
“A heart is far from a proper vibrator”, she mutters to herself, as she pushes the knife under her ribs and starts sawing through them, “but at least it beats, so that’s better than nothing”.
“Wait, won’t you die if you cut your own heart out?” I point out.
“I will”, Marina confirms matter-of-factly, as she proceeds to doing just that. “That’s why I’ll need you to put it in my pussy for me”.
“But how are you going to enjoy it once you’re dead?” I ask.
“I told you, it’s not for enjoyment”, my deskmate insists with a hint of annoyance, taking her now disconnected heart in her free hand and holding it out to me. “It’s to help me concentrate”, she says as I take the still beating heart and the next moment her limbs fall down limply while her eyes assume an expression somehow even more blank than her usual one. The knife falls out of her right hand and clatters against the floor, drawing the teacher’s attention.
“What’s that noise?” he asks, looking in my direction.
“It’s all Marina again, this time she killed herself”, is what I want to say while demonstrating her heart in my hands as an evidence, but then realize the teacher would make me carry her body to the infirmary, and I’ve already lost enough time with all of this, so I try to think of another excuse: “I just… uh… dropped my pen”.
“Well then pick it up quietly”, the teacher concludes.
I pretend to look for the pen and since it gets me under the desk anyway I decide I might as well put Marina’s heart into her pussy like she wanted. It fits surprisingly easy, or maybe not so surprisingly, seeing how her attempt at using the knife has turned her just recently neat slit into a gaping wound. As I re-emerge from under the table I suddenly realize that the teacher’s involvement distracted me from noticing if the heart was still beating or not. But I quickly shake that thought off: to care whether she receives her pleasure, or as she did put it herself, concentration, now that she’s dead and can’t feel it anyway — what have I become, as crazy as her? In the first place, why did I even let myself get distracted with another of Marina’s outlandish stunts? I must be used to them already. To tell what was going through this girl’s mind has always been impossible, so there was no point in pondering that, especially now that she doesn’t even have a mind anymore. Instead, I should really get back to the test at hand before the time is up…
¨ No.13603
Here's another short one that I realized I haven't yet posted on gurochan.
It was inspired by all those stories people tell on the Internet of kindergarten and school psychologists, how they manage to find some fucked up meaning in most innocent children's drawings. So it occurred to me: what if it was the other way around, a fucked up drawing, and a phycologist derives only positive things from it? And this is what it became.

Psychological Test
(Alisa Seleznyova, kinda vore, consensual)

Test subject: Alisa Igorevna Seleznyova
Species: Homo sapiens sapiens
Sex: female
Age: 7 years old
Examination reason: enrolling to school

Test:
The subject was offered to draw home, a person and an imaginary animal, also give a name to the latter.

Description of the drawing:
The subject executed all three tasks within the same single drawing. Above the middle of the sheet there’s a horizon line, above it is a starry sky and the planet Earth far away. On the foreground a tentacle monster is playing with a little girl and is going to eat her. The girl is drawn naked and anatomically correct, bearing a likeness of the test subject herself. She is suspended in the air by the tentacles that entwine her body and limbs. Two tentacles enter her vagina, of which at least one, judging by the depicted bulging on the abdomen, goes into the womb and, propping against its deepest wall, rolls up inside. One tentacle enters deep into the girl’s anus, filling all of her anatomically correctly drawn large intestine, the tip of another one is at her mouth and she is kissing it gently. Also the depicted girl is holding a tentacle in each hand, stimulating them and aiming at her face. From the tips of these and other tentacles a liquid is squirting onto the girl, preparing her for digestion, as evident from the fact that the monster is holding her right above its giant open toothless mouth, which can fit the girl whole. The monster is labeled “Playful Swallower”.

Analysis:
Combining all of the elements of the drawing into a single piece shows a creative approach to executing the task. Depiction of planet Earth as home indicates cosmopolitanism and global scale of thinking of the test subject, while its position far away above the horizon, implying the events of the drawing take place on another planet, tell about the subject’s wanderlust. The combination of sex, age and appearance allows to confidently say that the person the test subject depicted is herself. Since there is no clothes on the drawing, neither carefully laid out nor chaotically scattered around, it makes the drawing imply that the girl on it did neither undress on site to make it easier for the monster to it her, nor had her clothes torn apart by the monster itself, and instead she came here naked in the first place, meaning that the test subject sees herself as being naked by default. That indicates that she is accepting herself the way she is and is not interested in material values. Realistic anatomy of the drawing tells about the test subject’s knowledge of biology and drawing skills, thus showing her good level of intellectual and creative development. Two tentacles in her vagina compared to only one in the anus indicates that she puts vaginal sex on the first place, meaning she subconsciously wishes a healthy fulfillment of reproductive function, which is further confirmed by a tentacle wriggling in her womb, symbolizing a fetus. At the same time the presence of various other kinds of sexual intercourse shows the holistic development of the test subject’s personality. The monster’s appearance seems to be inspired by Japanese animation, demonstrating the test subject’s breadth of cultural knowledge. The monster has a soft amorphic shape, pliant plastic tentacled and toothless mouth, colored with a calm green color. All of that evidenced a lack of any kind of aggressive tendencies in the test subject’s personality. Even the monster’s name, Playful Swallower, expresses a lack of animosity in him eating the girl: he’s just having fun. And the test subject’s own drawn form is also treating the monster kindly, indicating her love to animate nature. The girl in the picture is not committing an act of self-sacrifice, sacrificing her own good for the good of the other, and instead displays sincere altruism when the good of the other is her own good.

Criteria:
political training — pass (cosmopolis, unacquisitiveness),
intellectual development — pass (knowledge of biology, kinds of sex),
creative development — pass (drawing skill, creative approach),
emotional development — pass (love to animate nature, altruism).

Conclusion:
The test subject satisfies the criteria of development for her age and is accepted for enrollment into general educational institutions.
¨ No.13795
This was a reply to another thread, but I decided it better fitted in my own.

The mention of bots also reminds me of an idea I had (and even started writing under a title 'Siyana's daily life', but never got back to it) with immortality like that. Basically it would be a utopian future where all the work is done by robots. The humans have their brain constantly synched to the cloud, so they can die all they want and will just be restores in a clone body. Due to real time synchronization, it's not even restoring a copy of a person from a backup with the original person being dead, but rather you can think of it as the cloud brain being the person themselves, while the biological body is just being remotely controlled. The purpose of living is to gather all kinds of experiences and then to ascend to 'heaven', that is to let the biological body die for good (of course choosing the most fun death as it's going to be the final one) and then connecting the cloud brain to the hivemind, which rules humanity, with the personality of the person dissolving in the hivemind, so they cease to exist as a separate person and at the same time don't exactly die but rather become immortal (or more precisely become a part of an immortal being). Usually it means the kids would ascend after graduating school (thus the whole population consisting mainly of kids), maybe in a fancy graduation and beheading ceremony, if you get the reference. But for the sake of diversifying the experiences that will constitute the hivemind, one can win the right to ascend earlier by having the best grades or some other achievements. Or one can choose to live a mortal life for a while longer, which is probably where the teachers in schools come from (although even if there are no human teachers, teaching can always be just done by the same kind of robots that do all the other work).

> quantum immortality
LOL, I was actually at some point considering writing a story where Len and Rin do all kinds of dangerous things that would surely kill them, yet somehow always end up alive, and then they would explain it with quantum immortality: no matter in how many worlds what they do ends up killing them, there'll always be at least one world where they somehow survive, and then naturally they find themselves existing in that world because in all the others they don't exist anymore. That would also explain how they seem to be the same characters and even have many of the same events in many of my other stories about them, yet end up dying differently in each one, and that would be because those are just different possibilities, which according to the many worlds interpretation are all simultaneously true.

Just as I was typing this, a way occurred to me to explain how they're experiencing that sort of quantum immortality together and Len doesn't find himself in a world where only Rin died or vice versa. And that is: if we're talking quantum things, maybe it has something to do with the quantum entanglement of a pair of twins? :-)

But anyway in the end I decided against that idea as I don't want to establish some sort of immortality in my Kagamine twins stories, even if it's just a quantum one, because the finality of death is a key point of many of those stories.

The real explanation is that they're just all fanfiction stories based on the same setting with the same characters. Like there's a ton of different stories on Harry Potter characters, and each would have different events happen to the same characters, even in different stories by the same author as they explore different themes and possibilities, but there's no deep meaning behind it, it's just how fanfiction works. The same with my stories featuring characters from Evangelion: Rei dies differently in each story, but not because those are different clones of Rei, but just because those are different independent stories. The only difference with my stories featuring the Kagamine twins is that Vocaloids don't have any sort of canon, so the closest thing to the 'original' on which my fanfiction is based is my own 'Innocence' story. Although 'Suspicious Silence' kinda became its own thing on which the subsequent 'Black Ice' and 'Dream Gift' are based.

And thus it's only from our world's perspective that we can see the Kagamine twins reoccurring in many stories despite constantly dying in them. From within each story there's no contradiction, because each story is each own independent world, in no way connected to the others, even if they end up very similar, the reason of that similarity (that is: me writing it that way) lies outside those worlds and within ours. And so within each story the Kagamine twins die completely and irreversibly, and can fully enjoy the finiteness of their existence, when they die they truly die and don't find themselves alive again in the next story. Only from our perspective it looks like the Kagamine twins from the next story are the same characters who are somehow alive again. But that new story and these new Kagamine twins existing within it don't exist within the context of the previous story: those Kagamine twins who died in the previous story are still there in the previous story and still dead.
¨ No.13804
>>13795
I had a bit different idea about that quantum immortality is not the multiverse idea where in some of the universes characters survive it is the idea that characters are dead and alive at the same time same (as quantum states that exists at the same time) as the characters die but they remain in the story. in fictional logic is a partial lack of story continuity that story characters are unaware of. (or at least not everyone is aware of how it works)

In the written form there's is a big advantage that you can just forget things and even if someone lost some body part or died sometime later they continue to exist as if nothing happened
I think this is better than immortality because immortality makes death impossible in principle idea of death changes its meaning entirely.

>Only from our perspective it looks like the Kagamine twins from the next story are the same characters who are somehow alive again. But that new story and these new Kagamine twins existing within it don't exist within the context of the previous story: those Kagamine twins who died in the previous story are still there in the previous story and still dead.

this depends on how you treat the story as if we as readers think about the entire series as a single story we consider characters immortal because they will come back again but the characters don't know it. But considering that fact, you probably could add some continuity for the series where you do have some character and world development as for example new characters that get introduced are transferred to the new story or things that happen before, have effect on new episodes.
This is not required, but sort of a nice thing to have if every story reveals something new about the whole setting
¨ No.13807
>>13804
What you're describing sounds more like AI of the AI Dungeon not being able to properly keep track of things :-)

When I'm writing in one story how Len and Rin were promised a VR set and a violin, but then killed themselves alongside their friends while playing a videogame (Suspicious Silence) and then in the next story I write about them being promised the same presents, but they end up drowning themselves instead (Black Ice), it's not because the second story is somehow a sequel to the first with the twins somehow coming back to life after they died. They're just two independent stories based on the same setting, and the fact that some of the events happen in both stories is just, well, events that so happened to happen in both stories, nothing more and nothing less.

Think of some VN, say Fate / Stay Night, everyone knows F/SN. You first play the Fate route and see (spoiler) being killed. Then you play the UBW route and of course he's there at the start of the story - not because he was brought back from death or because there's quantum immortality or broken continuity or whatever you want to call it - but simply because we're back at the start of the story where he was still alive in the first place. And then during this route he doesn't end up dead, but once again, not because of broken continuity, but because it's a separate story now, just starting from the same place, but since it's a separate story, it can go any other way from that same start, and so it does.

Then what you're saying about characters or concepts being introduced and then reused in the next stories to expand the universe, it's the same as... well, I can't recall off the top of my head if there was some character missing from the Fate route, then introduced in UBW and used again in Heaven's Feel (mainly because I haven't actually read the VN and only watched the anime, I know, shame on me)... but the point is that it's the same as if there was such a character. Even if the author actually didn't come up with that character during writing the Fate route, it would still not be broken continuity, as the intention would clearly be to imply that the character actually existed all along and just didn't happen to come up during the Fate route.

Then again, all of the above is only even relevant if it's actually established that we start from the same start in each story, as is usually the case with VNs, but it's not actually the case in my stories. For example, in Black Ice it's said about an event in the past where Rin got pregnant and then the pregnancy was aborted by a hailstone. It does not however imply that the same event happened in the twins' past in any of the other stories, unless specifically mentioned in them. Or those wishes the twins have for a VR set and a violin. Just because different stories have them have those same wishes, it doesn't necessarily mean that those stories all happen within the same universe. They might be different scenarios of how the events could play out in the same universe, like routes in a VN, but they might also be different universes altogether, where the twins happened to have similar dreams just from having similar personalities.
¨ No.13808
>>13807
Yes, I do understand that you write it as separate stories but what I say is that it is better to write it as a single story because you can make it more interesting and create some bigger story from those small episodes. as in the "Higurashi When They Cry" series that started with independent stories and then turned into a single story.
Most TV shows do that and it may be even considered the industry standard for comedy series (like Keny dying on every episode of south park, or the entire earth getting destroyed in "Invader zim" and coming back but Dib keeps the stuff he acquired in the previous episodes. )


since you are reusing the same characters over and over again that effectively makes them immortal from our perspective because we know that even if they die they will be back in the next story. and especially we know that the rule of your universe is that characters do not die permanently. It is a totally different experience from the situation when you create a well-developed character then kill it and nobody will see it again ever. in that situation you cannot even fantasize about that character anymore because it is erased from existence just like in real life.
I think you may be pretty reluctant in killing characters yourself if you decided to obey the rule that if dead it is dead forever, it cannot come back in any story from that moment. as Edward Hyde (and many other artists) does with his girls, who once eaten disappear from existence forever and never come back.

If characters come back in other stories then it does not matter if this is because of alternative universes, resurrection of some other kind of magic characters are still effectively immortal. And the most interesting thing here is if they actually know it or not ;) because if you knew that once you die you will come back you probably would not mind dying 5 times a day.
¨ No.13810
I beg to disagree.

> it is better to write it as a single story
No, it is not, it would just be ridiculous.

> as in the "Higurashi When They Cry"
Higurashi is different because it involves an in-universe explanation of a time loop.
So then it would be like my Warehouse story where Rei comes back to life in each new chapter, but with an existing in-universe explanation of being cloned.

> Most TV shows do that
Just because you only watch those that do, doesn't mean that most do that.
And I hate those that do that, it's just silly, breaks the suspension of disbelief and makes the whole show utterly meaningless.
You can't sympathize with characters who would just come back to life in the next episode without any explanation.

I wrote Rei dying from being hanged in 'Just a Whim' and then being beheaded in 'Asuka Saves the Day', but it's not because Rei came back to life with clones or anything (in fact 'Just a Whim' has an epilogue showing quite clearly that it did not happen), it's because those are two different fanfiction stories based on the same setting.

I wrote Ginny being eaten in 'Harry's Best Birthday" and then again in "Hogwarts Meangirl Catalogue", but it's not because Ginny got resurrected with magic and other characters got their memory erased, it's because those are two different fanfiction stories based on the same setting.

I wrote Sakura being eaten in 'Tomoeda Elementary Cafe' and then hanging herself in 'Best Surprise', but it's not because Sakura survived being eaten, it's because those are two different fanfiction stories based on the same setting.

So why do you insist on seeing my Vocaloid stories any differently?
¨ No.13811
>>13810
>So then it would be like my Warehouse story where Rei comes back to life in each new chapter, but with an existing in-universe explanation of being cloned.
well, not exactly it would be more like that idea that you write many independents stories and then, in the end, provide an explanation why it happened and then you end the series or change their tone completely because everything that we read before now is completely different probably turned upside down.
So we would not be aware that she is being cloned until the end but you should be giving some hints on that so that we could suspect that it is what is happening.


>Higurashi is different because it involves an in-universe explanation of a time loop.
If you think deeper Higurashi is pretty much just random splatter murder series with the intent to show as much gore as they can but to give meaning to all of that, in the end, they concocted some half-assed explanation about the time loop and turned everything upside down turning crazy murderers into heroes.
If you drop the end you will have just completely independent stories.

>And I hate those that do that, it's just silly, breaks the suspension of disbelief and makes the whole show utterly meaningless.
There is no suspension of disbelief if this kind of behavior is set as a rule. We are fully aware that after dying character has to come back and that death is cheap.
You know that according to the rules of the specific movie getting injured means that you will be forced to wear bandages and those bandages restrict your movement as a penalty not that they somehow will hurt you. or that when you get shot in the face that will just color you in black.
You need suspension of disbelief when a story starts breaking its own rules and doing stupid things.

>You can't sympathize with characters who would just come back to life in the next episode without any explanation.

But you do exactly the same! and even worse because your stories are out of character and do not follow canon so this makes them even more meaningless.
This not very different from writing a story about Hitler fighting nazis in the superhero suit LOL

Yes, I do understand that they are supposed to be different stories in different worlds but from my perspective, they are just different episodes of the series. Because they all happen to use the same characters and pretty much the same setting. And I know that you probably will write 10 more stories with Rin and Len and they will keep coming back forever until you get bored with them.
If this is not your intent why you don't make original characters for every story like everyone else? If you want death to be real then follow the rules that once a character is dead it never comes back in any of your stories ever. As that is the true meaning of death. Readers have to be aware that they will never see it again the story really ended there is no hope no alternative versions it is just over. (and this is sort of sad)

In fact, I would rather prefer you to use OC rather than existing characters because this out-of-character thing is somewhat irritating and causes some problems Readers may disagree with your interpretation. while with OC you are totally in control and nobody can argue with what you say so the story is more enjoyable.
¨ No.13812
I can't even argue with most of what you say because your words make no sense in the first place. It's like you're pointing at the perfectly blue sky and saying "can't you see how red it is?" No, it isn't, if you were taught that this color is called red, you were lied to.

In the same way the person who taught you that using and reusing existing characters and/or settings in different stories is called 'granting characters immortality' lied to you. In the language that everyone else is using it's called 'fanfiction'.

Characters being out of character compared to canon is not unheard of in fanfiction, there's even a specific tag for it - OOC meaning 'out of character'. There is also AU standing for alternative universe.
Only Vocaloids don't even have an established canon, technically it isn't even canon that Len and Rin are twins, so the only way my characters can be out of character is compared to other stories of mine.
But then it is exactly if these stories are viewed as chapters of a single series like you insist then it would make no sense for the characters to behave differently in different chapters.
And if they are viewed as separate stories like intended by the author, then it makes much more sense that the characters in unrelated stories can behave in unrelated ways.

It's exactly the same as there is a canon ending of Harry Potter where Hermione ends up with Ron, but you can find innumerable fanfiction stories where she might end up with Harry or with Draco or with a harem or dead, and she can also have different personality in different stories. Those are also all stories happening with the same characters in the same setting, and you also know that if in one Harry Potter fanfiction story Hermione dies then in the next she will be perfectly fine, but it doesn't make them all into some kind of a big singular story where characters live and die and come back to life again to live a different life.

That's just how fanfiction works.

> This not very different from writing a story about Hitler fighting nazis in the superhero suit LOL
Notice how if in that unless that story actually establishes that he started doing those things after killing himself, you can't claim that the story resurrects him and establishes his immortality. It just goes a different route, that's all.

> If this is not your intent why you don't make original characters for every story like everyone else?
Because I'm writing fanfiction, and using already established characters is how fanfiction works.
If you visit like AO3, you'll see that your claim that "everyone else uses original characters" is far from true. Fanfiction is a thing, deal with it.

Also, from your previous comment:
> And the most interesting thing here is if they actually know it or not ;) because if you knew that once you die you will come back you probably would not mind dying 5 times a day.
That could be fun too, but it would be a very different kind of fun than the one Len and Rin derive from knowing their death to be complete and irreversible. I already said that this finality of death is a key point of many of those stories, so why would I want to ruin the whole point by establishing it being otherwise?
It's like if I was writing a drama with an intent of being sad and you said "but it would be more happy if it was more happy instead". Yes, it would, but then it wouldn't be the sad drama that I was intending to write anymore, and would become an entirely different story instead.
¨ No.13813
Seriously, fanfiction is fanfiction. "I don't like you writing fanfiction just write original stories instead" is... not a reasonable critique unless the story is a gift you were promised for your birthday or you commissioned it or something.

(And even if it is, you have no say in other stories this person is writing that aren't for you personally so you don't get to say that anyway...)
¨ No.13814
Today I worked on a guro version of the song "Pantsu Nugeru Mon" (I Can Take Off My Panties), like I did before with Sing&Smile.

Here's the original: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=btqZejLvZFU

Here's the first draft of my version of the lyrics:

inochi daiji ni
to itsumo iwareru
demo sore wa dare ga kimeta
inochi wo sutenakya tsumannai

(To cherish life
I'm always told,
but who decided that,
if life isn't thrown away, it's boring)

onigokko naraba jiraigen de ichiban
arui mekakushioni nara kitto manenrou no oku no ue

(if it's tag, then minefield is number one,
or if it's blind man's buff, surely it's on a skyscraper's rooftop)

inochi wo suterarereba tanoshii yo
somosomo tanoshii nara koso
ikiru to kanjite iru

(if I can throw my life away it's fun,
in the first place that fun is exactly why
I'm feeling alive)

(A)

inochi wo
suterareru mon
suterareru mon
suterareru mon ne

(my life,
I can throw it away
I can throw it away
I can throw it away alright)

shinu nara mou inaku naru
koukai suru koto wa dekimasen

(if I die, I'm not around anymore
and can't feel regret)

suterareru mon
suterareru mon
suterareru mon ne

(I can throw it away
I can throw it away
I can throw it away alright)

inochi yori tanoshimi da
atashi no yuusen suru kata wo
misete ageru wa

(fun before life,
my way of prioritizing,
I'll show it to you)

(B)

sou wa iu kedo betsu ni shinitakunai
shi no ganbou motte inai
asobi no baai tanoshii da

(even if I say that, I don't particularly want to die,
I don't have a death wish,
it's fun only if it's a game)

asobi no igai shineba mottainai
tanoshiku de shinitai nara koso
inochi wo daiji ni suru

(dying outside of a game would be a waste,
exactly because I want to die in a fun way
I will cherish my life)

inochi wo
daiji ni suru mon
daiji ni suru mon
daiji ni suru mon ne

(my life,
I will cherish it,
I will cherish it,
I will cherish it alright)

sou sureba ikite iru
tanoshii no shinikata made

(If I do so I'm alive
until I die in a fun way)

daiji ni suru mon
daiji ni suru mon
daiji ni suru mon ne

(I will cherish it,
I will cherish it,
I will cherish it alright)

shi wo oboeru mono ja nashi
tada tanoshikunai shinikata ga ya

(I'm not being afraid of death,
just don't want to die in an unfun way)

kyou shinu ka shinanai kana kamawanai
yoku mo waruku mo tanoshimeba sore dakede ii janai

(today will I die or will I not I don't care,
for better or for worse, if I have fun, isn't it all that matters?)

(repeat from A to B)

If anyone here has any understanding of Japanese language or music, feel free to correct any mistakes you see.
Also, is this any fun in the first place? Should I keep doing it?
¨ No.13815
>>13813
This is not what I say. I just said that this so-called "fanfiction" has certain problems and writing original characters is preferable in general. I am not asking anyone to do anything. Generally, when reading fanfiction I just treat characters as OC with the same names in a similar setting very often I am entirely even unaware of the character origins.

It is not my opinion but a fact that fanfiction is pretty problematic in general and causes many discussions and arguments between fans who disagree with the specific interpretation or even feel like their beloved characters get violated.
Again it is not the reason to stop writing it but OC easily eliminates all those problems.
¨ No.13816
>>13815
Those "problems" only exist for people who can't grasp how fanfiction works or refuse to accept it.
¨ No.13817
>>13812
You got it all wrong. I am not telling you what to do but explaining how it looks for me and I think I explained my arguments reasonably well.
Nothing prevents you from making separate stories with the same characters, all I said was a suggestion on how you could make things better by turning independent stories into one big story but that is just a suggestion.

And I am not even criticizing your work I am rather discussing story-making techniques in general and only referencing how you use them.

>That's just how fanfiction works.
More accurately this is "how fanfiction IS" not how it works because it is not working, rather than just enjoying the story people are starting wars on the internet complaining and arguing with each other on how a certain story is wrong or offensive. In some situations, it even ends in lawsuits or authors writing EULA on how the character they'd designed has to be used. Generally fanfiction can be considered "art fixing" where you declare that "author did it wrong and this how it should be"

Again it is not a complaint about you but about the fanfiction in general

>If you visit like AO3, you'll see that your claim that "everyone else uses original characters" is far from true. Fanfiction is a thing, deal with it.
You got it wrong again because I am not telling you what to do, I am just explaining the consequences of what you are doing and techniques on how to manipulate readers' emotions.
You want it or not, death in your stories is cheap and reversible we as readers do not value it we do not feel any discomfort because characters die and do not even consider any of what happens important because in the next story they will be back again. Or if you insist on alternative settings then again even if they die in one setting there are an infinite amount of settings where they stay alive. So deaths just have no value of any kind it is just a spectacle purely for the show.
I a quite sure that You even feel the same about it all yourself because of you were following the rules I described you would be very unwilling to kill characters. (again I am not demanding you to follow them I just say how it feels)



>That could be fun too, but it would be a very different kind of fun than the one Len and Rin derive from knowing their death to be complete and irreversible. I already said that this finality of death is a key point of many of those stories, so why would I want to ruin the whole point by establishing it being otherwise?

That is the whole point On how to do it. Because simply stating that death is final and irreversible does not make it true. You are fully aware that you will bring them back again. yes maybe you can reboot the story 2-3 times but after that, it turns into a comedy, and even if you are trying to write tragedy your audience starts laughing at the suffering of your characters and cheering for the villain.
At this point, I also no longer see any importance in what happens to Rin and Len but rather treat it as a meaningless but cool spectacle and want to see what kind of other extreme things they are going to do.


>It's like if I was writing a drama with the intent of being sad and you said "but it would be more happy if it was more happy instead". Yes, it would, but then it wouldn't be the sad drama that I was intending to write anymore, and would become an entirely different story instead.

It is absolutely not like that, but rather that you are writing drama and when you present it to the audience everyone is praising you for what a masterpiece comedy it is.
¨ No.13818
>>13817
Okay, I think I got what your problem is. You're mistaking yourself for "everyone". Not only you're pointing at the blue sky claiming it's red, you also dare to claim "no, I'm not calling it red, I'm just stating that everyone calls it red". Well, maybe you should extend your world beyond color blind people then.
¨ No.13819
Claiming that death in my Vocaloid stories is not final because the characters are used in other stories too is the same as claiming that Ginny's death in Harry's Best Birthday is not final because you've seen a movie where she lives past that moment. Then again, since your problem is with fanfiction in general, you'd actually go and claim something ridiculous like that. But then it would literally be like pointing at the blue sky and claiming it to be red. It's just not true and you know it.
¨ No.13820
>>13818
Somehow you always manage to misunderstand me. In that sentence, it was just a hypothetical example of what can happen not a direct reference to any specific work. Nowhere else I said anything about "everyone".
How you can't understand that you cant tell your readers what they should think or feel? You have to achieve that by the way you write your story.
>>13819
This is a different thing that we were talking about before but yes your problem is that I can claim anything because you do not own those characters, you did not create Harry Poter and if you can snuff then I can just poof them back into existence continue your story and make any kind of declarations I like. So of course Ginny's death is not final.
This is one of the reasons why fanfiction is absolutely meaningless outside of the parody realm.
¨ No.13822
>>13820
It's not me misunderstanding you, it's you saying something and then saying "oh no I haven't said that you must have misunderstood me" while confirming that you have in fact say that is as easy as scrolling this thread up a bit.

> How you can't understand that you cant tell your readers what they should think or feel?

What makes you think that you can? You keep claiming that "everyone" or "people" view fanfiction the same way you do, or that it's "generally" viewed that way, no matter which word you use you're projecting your own weird view onto everyone. But in reality it's only you who's weird that way, refusing to grasp the concept of fanfiction.

> you did not create Harry Poter and if you can snuff then I can just poof them back into existence continue your story and make any kind of declarations I like. So of course Ginny's death is not final.

And what would be different if I did create Harry Potter? Here, Rowling did, but it didn't stop me from writing a story where Ginny dies before the second year of Hogwarts starts, which by your logic makes all of the original books past that point meaningless. It doesn't matter if the base work is original or fanfiction itself, one can always write fanfiction based on it, and that by your logic makes any piece of writing equally meaningless. But if it's all equally meaningless, then there's no sense in accusing fanfiction specifically of being meaningless.
¨ No.13823
Or you also said how fanfiction is fixing what the author did wrong. That's especially silly in the context of guro stories. By your logic I wrote Ginny being eaten because I thought this is what Rowling should have done to her? That's just ridiculous. And with my Vocaloid stories, there's not even some sort of canon to fix, they're mostly based on my own story Innocence, so does that mean I'm trying to fix my own previous work by writing other versions of it? Instead of just fixing it in the story itself? And then I write all the different versions of how it all ends, so what does that mean, that I keep looking for a better way to fix it? Such logic is just laughable.
¨ No.13825
>>13822
You keep claiming that "everyone" or "people" view fanfiction the same way you do, or that it's "generally" viewed that way, no matter which word you use you're projecting your own weird view onto everyone.
Where did I say, "everyone"?
why I can't say "people"?
Do you claim that this is just my opinion and nobody else thinks the same way? and Only I am some freak on the whole earth who thinks like that?
You are doing precisely what you are accusing me here:
>You're projecting your own weird view onto *everyone*.
Do you mean that nobody agrees with what I say?

I did not say anything that is not a basic story writing principle you are told at school and every writer should be aware of them. Those principles exist for a reason probably because the majority of people think they work.
Here is a good place to learn story writing technology https://tvtropes.org/


>And what would be different if I did create Harry Potter?
Then You would be the authority figure and if you for some reason decided to Change harry, potter, into a girl he would become a girl.
If Rowling decided to kill Ginny then you will not be able to bring her back. there will be a storm of public discussions and outrage some people may approve that some will get furious and curse Rowling for what she did. People on youtube will be discussing her writing techniques and how that kind of choice affects her fanbase. I think she will get few death treats and a bunch of hate mail. People who read her book will know that now Ginny is dead and she will never come back.
(but rather than discussing hypothetical scenarios how about you check the situation with "star wars" and in what kind of mess they got.)
watch some "Overlord DVD" channel "Clownfish Tv" also may be relevant
You can also watch "Humanity Has Declined" episode 4 for a more fun way to see what it means to be a writer. And how you should care about your fans.

If you kill Ginny nobody cares. You cannot invalidate the original on which you are basing your fanfiction. That's the difference.


>By your logic I wrote Ginny being eaten because I thought this is what Rowling should have done to her?
This is why most people usually write fanfiction But you have a phobia of anything meaningful so it does not apply to you as I see you just throw in any random popular characters and make them do random things. (and I totally can't understand why you do that)

>And with my Vocaloid stories, there's not even some sort of canon to fix, they're mostly based on *my own story* Innocence, so does that mean I'm trying to fix my own previous work by writing other versions of it? Instead of just fixing it in the story itself? And then I write all the different versions of how it all ends, so what does that mean, that I keep looking for a better way to fix it? Such logic is just laughable.

Can you explain what was your reason to chose Vocaloid characters In the first place? How your story is related to the Vocaloid franchise?
You basically just confirmed everything I said before about it being OC then why do you call it "fanfiction" and why we are even arguing about fanfiction.
Can we end that misunderstanding and from now, treat it as completely your own story just like you just said?
¨ No.13826
> Where did I say, "everyone"?

Ctrl+F -> "everyone"

You may be not alone in your disdain for fanfiction, but generally people who read it do so because they enjoy it, and people who don't enjoy it just don't care and pass by. You don't have people who like apples more than oranges writing text walls at people growing oranges telling them how meaningless their oranges are and how nobody would want to eat them.

You hating fanfiction for the fact that it is fanfiction is no different then people hating guro for the fact that it is guro. What if someone started arguing here how we're all degenerates for liking guro and that we should better be using our talents for more conventional art? And this is exactly what you're doing, only about fanfiction.

> If you kill Ginny nobody cares.

Then why do you care so much when I kill the Kagamine twins?

> You cannot invalidate the original on which you are basing your fanfiction.

Are you fucking serious now?! That's exactly what I'm trying to tell you all this time. Your whole point was that if I use the Kagamine twins in a new story, then it does invalidate their death in any previous one. But somehow for Harry Potter you're willing to comprehend separate stories being separate and not affecting each other, but for Vocaloid stories you can't accept the same? What the fuck is it with such selectivity? What is it that you have against Vocaloids specifically?


> Can you explain what was your reason to chose Vocaloid characters In the first place?

Because I'm the author and that's how I see it.
Existing characters just better ignites my inspiration, that's all.
I have to care about a character to write about them, but I can't care about a character who doesn't exist yet, therefore creating a new character from scratch is very hart to me, and I don't see it be worth the bother when I'll be killing that character in five minutes.
¨ No.13827
Adding to the last point, as a reader I also prefer porn/guro stories to use characters I already care about, because then they can go straight into porn/guro. Otherwise I either can't enjoy the story as much because I don't care about the characters, or if the story takes time to establish the characters so I could care about them, then it takes forever to get to the actual porn/guro.
¨ No.13828
What a strange and pointless discussion.

It is good, to tell writers, what you like in the stories and what not, but when it’s clear, you have completely different views on fanfiction, it makes no sense to even start lecturing.

Of course fanfiction has different rules than writing in general. And fanfiction on Gurochan again has very different rules. It makes no sense for the author to change away from what he/she likes to please the audience. That would only make sense if you are paid for writing.



There are clearly people liking the stories in this thread. If you do not belong to them, stop reading them, but do not try to change them in your direction.

I, for instance, like them, especially the cardcaptor sakura stuff. It’s exactly the contrast of the finality and the casuality of death that is interesting (although I tend to prefer nc and semi-con).



And the point of ooc fanfic: one advantage of fanfic, is, your characters, the setting, the relationships are a given, so you can spare setting all this up. You just tweak the characters a little bit. If some sense, the mirror universe in Star Trek also functions like an ooc fanfic (“What if Spock was evil”), and the fans seem to like it.
¨ No.13829
>>13828
> It’s exactly the contrast of the finality and the casuality of death that is interesting

A very good point!

The whole fun factor of most of my stories is how the characters treat death lightly and casually while being totally aware of its finality and irreversibility. It's something that seems like a contradiction to our common sense yet the characters treat it like it's perfectly natural for them. Or in cases where they do bother to stop and think for a moment before killing themselves, they use logic that makes little sense for us in real life yet makes perfect sense for the characters themselves within the story: like in 'Die Young' Len concludes that it's exactly because of how much he fears death that he should kill himself ASAP, or in 'Black Ice' (and really in 'Suspicious Silence' before that) the twins conclude that the fact that by dying they wouldn't be able to experience any fun is what makes it so fun in the first place. An even more extreme and hopefully more vivid example is how Marina in the story aptly named 'Marina' is cutting her heart off so she can put in in her pussy to help herself concentrate while being aware that it would kill her and thus there wouldn't be any her for it to help concentrate. It's exactly how it really doesn't make any sense yet Marina acts like for her it makes perfect sense that makes it so fun.

None of that would have worked the way it does if it was established that death isn't final. There wouldn't be any fun contradiction between our common sense and the characters' common sense, because "if you knew that once you die you will come back you probably would not mind dying 5 times a day" fits perfectly within our own common sense. The reason we don't kill ourselves 5 times a day is not because we don't agree with that statement, but because we just so happen to live in a universe where we don't come back from death.

In 'Sexual Education' Sakura asks to be cut up just out of curiosity. For this one little momentary emotion she casually gives up her very existence forever, and that's exactly what makes it so hot. On the other hand, if it was established that she'd be totally fine in the end, you would see it as a totally logical method of education which you wouldn't mind going though yourself. You could still enjoy the detailed description of the process, but it would feel much more bland for my taste without the spice of knowing that she chose this while being perfectly aware that it would lead to her death.

Now, settings where it's established that people come back from death, and they do kill themselves five times a day, have a right to exist (as I mentioned in the start of that discussion, I even had one such setting in my own mind and even started writing "Siyana's daily life" in that setting), and can be fun too, but it's a very different type of fun, not the one I'm aiming for in most of my stories.>>13828
¨ No.13833
>>13828
>And the point of ooc fanfic:
OOC fanfiction is shit, so is the most other fanfiction.
The authors of the original creations show/write/draw what they want and what they think is sufficient for relevation of their ideas.
If you think that's not enough - that your problem. Just go drink some water and write your own original story with original characters... if you can. But most can't, so they spoil settings and ruin characters with their "vision" and their fetishes. Pathetic.
¨ No.13834
>>13833
> If you think that's not enough - that your problem
No, it's your problem because you decided by yourself for the fanfiction authors that they mean to 'fix' the original stories and then you blame them for it. So you're literally blaming people for the intent that only you yourself have in mind. The same as when a wife has a dream of her husband cheating on her and then starts blaming him in real life for her having that dream.
¨ No.13835
>>13834
>No, it's your problem because you decided by yourself for the fanfiction authors that they mean to 'fix' the original stories and then you blame them for it.
You don't "fix" them? Then what are you doing? Have you have consulted with the original authors and got a permission for your fanfic(s)? Or you have just decided yourself that some characters will be better the way you see them? Then why do pretend that your interpretation of some story or character is an upgrade of the original story and has some value to the original author or community?
As was said - everything the original authors wanted to do - they usually do. And if you're not happy with the result - that is your problem.

Everything that was said above is referred to all fanfiction, not only yours. So nothing personal.

>So you're literally blaming people for the intent that only you yourself have in mind. The same as when a wife has a dream of her husband cheating on her and then starts blaming him in real life for her having that dream.
Lol, please, stop add your cuckold dreams in the arguments.
That's not even funny.
¨ No.13836
>>13835
this is literally porn. you are on a pornography website. what the fuck is wrong with you

(nowhere does DONT LIKE DONT READ apply quite with the intensity it does on fucking GUROCHAN)
¨ No.13837
>>13826
Then why do you care so much when I kill the Kagamine twins?

Do you know that answering every such question turns a reply into a wall of text?
Did I ever say that I care about that, you take something that I said in general and apply it to a very specific situation?

I do not care if you kill Kagamine twins I do not know anything about them besides their pictures that I saw on the internet so your work is pretty much OC to me.
and this:
>I have to care about a character to write about them, but I can't care about a character who doesn't exist yet, therefore creating a new character from scratch is very hard to me, and I don't see it be worth the bother when I'll be killing that character in five minutes.

This is sort of disrespectful to your audience because I have no knowledge about those characters I have to look them up on the internet and the fact that you skip all character development and proper introduction means that you do not care about those who read your work. yes, it ignites YOUR inspiration but unless you are fine with writing a story for all 3 other people who have the same interest in those characters as you, you will be the only one who cares about those characters at all.
For the rest, they are just random names that get snuffed in random ways, and sometimes it is even worse because when you and other fanfiction writers skip at least minimal introduction people who are not aware of those characters do not even have clue what it is all about we have to pause the story and look on the internet what the author had in mind

So maybe now you do understand why for me it is exactly that you are just killing random characters in random ways?
the question is do you want it to be that way? Or maybe it would be worth fleshing out a normal story rather than being lazy and doing that not for yourself but for your readers.

and this:
>I don't see it be worth the bother when I'll be killing that character in five minutes.
that's exactly what said before, spend 2 days developing a new character spend considerable time with them, and then kill it forever in 5 minutes. Then tell me how do you feel about their death and about all your work which you just had to do just to destroy it. Yes creating a character is hard and this is what creates value for life and death.

You don't have to do it if you don't want but maybe now you understand why deaths in your stories are worth nothing. You are squashing an army of clones and you did not even bother to create them.

You can write stories any way you want and do whatever you want but don't complain when other people see them differently than you.

>You could still enjoy the detailed description of the process, but it would feel much more bland for my taste without the spice of knowing that she chose this while being perfectly aware that it would lead to her death.

And you totally fail in this. Because nobody cares about those random characters dying You did not bother to flesh out the story you did not bother to ake those characters likable and make the reader care about them. All we see in your story are some crazy people who casually kill themselves for no reason in the world where life and death have no value but works rather like a kind of prank were to make fun of your friends who are throwing you a birthday party you send them your decapitated head. Of something even more ridiculous

And again don't get me wrong that I have something against it. That is what I like about your stories. I see them exactly as short and fun episodes that describe interesting situations and funny pranks. The main thing in your stories is exactly that everything is so senseless and meaningless that death does not feel important at all. Whether it is final or not does not even matter it is still worth noting.

If executed properly even people who dislike guro could enjoy such stories if they were put in the right narrative. Like for example "Bunny Suicides" series
¨ No.13838
>>13828
Of course, fanfiction has different rules than writing in general. And fanfiction on Gurochan again has very different rules. It makes no sense for the author to change away from what he/she likes to please the audience. That would only make sense if you are paid for writing.

This is a very stupid idea because the way how writer and artist get paid is by the attention that is the main currency on the internet.
we do things for attention and feedback.
If you just write your stream of consciousness and use gurochan or another site as a replacement for trash can then nobody cares
But to get more attention you have to care about your audience just like they care about you.
After a story or a picture gets posted You are obligated to post some kind of reply.

maybe changing from what he likes is too much but adding what other people like and incorporating something to cater to other people is not a bad idea.


>There are clearly people liking the stories in this thread. If you do not belong to them, stop reading them, but do not try to change them in your direction.
People will not stop reading stuff they dislike, they just skip parts they don't like and reimagine everything in their own way.

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